
Freak.
Nobody is supposed to have two moms, how
did they have you?
Teddy could still hear them. He could still see their faces twisted into
mocking jeers and the tears on one girl’s face from a full belly laugh. They
thought it was funny, laughing at him for never having a father.
Freak.
I can’t believe you actually believed them, of course you have a dad somewhere…
A dad. He had never needed a dad before, having two moms made him special.
That’s what his mom said anyway.
Freak.
Teddy felt stupid now. They had lied to him, of course he had to have a
father somewhere, since everyone else did. And he couldn’t be special.
He was a slow, stupid, little kid freak.
Teddy slammed the door shut when he got into the silver Honda waiting for him
at the curb and buckled in without a word. He didn’t even look at Mommy.
“How was your day Teddy bear?” Mommy’s voice was full of his
favourite peppermint candy. Teddy closed his eyes. He didn’t want to be her ‘Teddy
Bear’ right now. And he didn’t want to feel warm and fuzzy and special when he heard her say it. It was
just another lie. Just like everything else she had told him. Teddy gave an
irritated sigh.
When she finally caught on to the mood Louisa took a hand from the wheel and
placed it between them, approaching the seven year old cautiously. “Bad
day I’m guessing.”
Teddy ignored her. This was her fault. Her fault, and mom’s. They should’ve
told him, why didn’t they?
So he used the one thing he knew for sure would hurt her, the silent treatment,
he’d learned it from mom after all.
“Teddy you have to tell me something.” Mommy insisted with ‘the
tone’.
“Why,” he broke his silence, “You don’t tell me everything!”
Louisa rose a slim brow, where was this coming from? She didn’t have to take
this from her seven year old, she was the parent here. “No. But you are
not my mother. I’m yours, so you have to tell me everything.” When he
remained silent she nudged him and gave him a feather soft prompt, “C’mon,
tell Mommy everything.”
Teddy knew he wouldn’t win. Now that his friends had planted the idea of having
a father, the thought wormed its way around his brain and burned like a brand.
He needed to know. “Who’s my father?”
Louisa slammed the brakes, knocked breathless as icicles of fear penetrated her
consciousness. Behind her a car swerved out to avoid crashing into her rear and
the driver yelled, “Get off the damned streets lady!”
Eyes wide as plates met hers from the backseat of the man’s car as the child
absorbed the ‘bad word’. Louisa refrained from answering in kind and instead
refocused on the road. She eased on the gas and shot a glance at Teddy, who had
folded his arms waiting to hear what she had to say now.
It wasn’t like the first time three years ago, when he had stopped her as she
read Goldilocks to ask her what papa bear really was. This time an answer like
before won’t work. It was no longer enough to hear that a papa bear was the
biggest and the strongest who protected the home.
This Teddy wouldn’t laugh and call his Mom the papa bear because of the time she snapped at the teenagers throwing eggs at their car and calling out rude names.
No. This was different. Her baby was angry, demanding answers.
“So that’s what’s bothering you.” It was a statement but Teddy
nodded. “Who troubled you about that?”
“Little Nick. He said babies need a daddy and a mommy, and that without a
father that someone can’t have a baby.” Teddy hardly breathed getting it
all out, then continued, “Rudy called me freak because I said I was
different – I told him what you and mommy always said… That I was
special.”
Louisa heart clenched painfully. There was always some snot faced brat that
came out of nowhere and that told your kid he isn’t special. Louisa had just
been hoping he came much later if at all. “Teddy bear you are special, you
are…”
“Am I a freak?” Teddy interrupted, holding back the tightness in his
throat and fighting to keep his vision clear.
“No. You’re my little boy and you’re not a freak at all,” Louisa took
a calming breath. She could handle a lot of things, she could run a whole
agency of private investigators with a fraction of her mind but not this.
“So who’s my father then?” Teddy insisted. He had to be the most
stubborn, single minded child ever raised. Even as a toddler when he fixated on
a toy there was no taking it away and no bargaining. He knew in the moment what
he wanted.
But she was his mother. Louisa had to protect him, even if she had to protect
him from the truth, and from himself. He’d never understand anyway, it was
better this way. She had gotten the chance to build herself a real family, he
didn’t lack for anything, they had a loving home, two cats Teddy adored and he
got his Christmas wish every year. Like couldn’t get more perfect for a kid,
Louisa didn’t understand how her son could feel so cheated. She sighed.
“Very soon, we’re going to sit down and talk all about your father. But
not today. Sweetie, okay? I’m so sorry those kids said mean things and made fun
of you, and you don’t know how much I wished I could take it all back so you
never had to feel this way….” Nor would he ever know just how much. Most
parents did the best they could, even when they did wrong things.
She knew Teddy wasn’t satisfied, he got that look on his face that said that he
would be bringing it up again. Just that he would wait for now.
This wasn’t over.
Teddy looked away from Mommy, and out through the window. It was okay, she’d
lied for seven years of course she didn’t want him to know the truth. So Teddy
would have to find out the truth himself.



